I know I’m not a parent and therefore have no experience with the difficulties of raising children. But please don’t disregard my counsel because of this. The advice offered here doesn’t require me to be a parent, much like I don’t have to own a dog to know that they should be trained not to poop wherever.
Like most of the entries in this category, this one is inspired by a bad experience. And even though it may seem like I’m just venting my frustration about something that’s really not a big deal, I thought it was worth writing about especially considering a lot of people I know are getting married these days and might be having children in the near future.
Recently, my mom had company over at our house. One of the guests brought along three children, (all under the age of ten, as far as I know. I don’t know how to guess age anymore). I was planning on staying for supper and then going for a leisurely bike ride to escape the madness. Alas, the madness founded itself much earlier than I had expected. Within ten minutes of their arrival, the young ones had spilt Oreo crumbs all over the floor, eaten my trail mix, put their mouths on my recorder, helped themselves to my organ, commandeered my computer to play music from Mario, taken hold of an expensive microphone and tried on my headphones, all without permission. I promise that my attitude at the beginning of this was a patient one, but my tolerance inevitable ran dry. After cleaning up their mess, I diverted them with Lego and quickly fled my house without hesitation, without dinner. Camera in hand, I found peace in nature and some fresh air. My brother, the genius that he is, had been a step ahead of me and was already at the church, away from harm.
Have you ever been walking in a park or on a trail, enjoying the scenery and the smell of the outdoors, when all the sudden, you find yourself having to dodge a big dog dung, or worse, wiping one off your shoe? You probably thought to yourself, “Someone did not do their duty as a dog owner.” How true. Chances are, you weren’t thinking, “I hate dogs. I hate that they poop. Stop pooping, dogs.” Of course dogs are going to poop, but most of the time, it’s not a problem since pet owners who are responsible will clean up after them, supervise them, and discipline them in the ways of pooping.
Now let’s attach the analogy: I don’t blame these kids (much). They’re very young and probably haven’t mastered the art of behaving as a guest. Things like taking without asking, using without asking, eating without asking, and invasion of personal space are things that will take time for them to learn not to do, providing they have someone teaching them.
Enter beef. My beef. With the parents. Returning to the analogy: when I went to the park with my friend to walk her dog, we didn’t arrive at the park, let the dog off the leash and go do our own thing, allowing said dog to annoy other dogs and their owners with his hugeness and playfulness. We had the dog on a leash, and when we let him off the leash, we kept our eyes on him and called him over when he got carried away. Good for us! We rock!
When these guests and their children arrived, the parents sat down in the living room and disregarded their children, ignored their behavior and virtually pretended they didn’t exist. They didn’t know what was going on in the rest of the house: the unknocked doors being opened, the ungranted foods being eaten, the expensive equipment being hijacked, the privacy bubbles being popped. I don’t know if they overestimated their children’s manners or if they assumed that when they are guests, their kids become our kids. They don’t. Transferring custody of children takes a lot of paperwork that no one would want to deal with just for an evening visit, which I’m assuming isn’t the only reason we don’t do that.
This is a lot of words for a small point: when you, as a parent, are a guest at someone’s house, you still need to supervise your children. The host has likely provided dinner, dessert, and cleaned the whole house in order to please you. Don’t punish them by unleashing your kids all over their home. It’s rude.
Sincerely,
David
Wow, that was put most excellently David, I totally agree. I promise that when my future children come into your home they well be kept on a leash at all times…. or at least we’ll bring them something quiet to entertain themselves with
How I fear that at some point I may have been those kids! Haha. Couldn’t agree more. Crazy parents.